So Much Change in 3 Short Months

A lot has been on my mind lately, foremost being the impending labor and birth of our 5th child, due in 3 short months. I've been listening to a Natural Birth Hypnosis recording every night... it is the same one I listened to for months before the birth of my 4th baby, Heidi. I'm not sure how much stock to put into hypnosis, but I do know that God made our minds to be powerful, absorbing, and able to overcome physical limitations or weaknesses. Mind over matter is my motto! So if the hypnosis helps my mind to remember that I am in control and that my body is MADE to deliver a baby, then perhaps I'll be more at peace, focused, and willing to cope with the pain of delivery. I don't want to panic like I did with my 3rd son, Alvin, when the pain became overwhelming. But Heidi's birth was as beautiful and peaceful as a birth can get, and I did it all on my own… so I can do it again, maybe even better this time. So please pray for me and the baby... that we will know what to do and be able to get through it quickly and easily.

Another thing that has been relentlessly on my mind is finishing all the big and small projects that need to be finished before we put our house for sale in 3 months. I need everything to be done so we can pack and then move within a month or two after the baby is born. I might even pack everything before the baby is born, if we get the projects finished soon enough. Here is what we need to do or finish:

· Siding on the last side of our house
· Soffits around the house
· Edging and landscaping around house, maybe plant a few pretty bushes
· Grout and seal the tile floor in our bathroom
· Tape, mud, prime, and paint the bathroom, kitchen, and both bedrooms
· Tape, mud, texture, and paint the ceiling throughout the entire house
· Trim throughout house,
· Face plates, switches, and outlet fixtures throughout house (finishing touches)
· Hook up hot water to the washing machine
· Completely remove the old house from the property, along with the pile of junk sitting next to it

Whew. So as you can see, we have a lot to do and only a few months to do it! But on the bright side, we've gotten a lot done in just the past 6 months:

· New mailbox is up
· 75% of the siding is done
· New steel roof looks beautiful
· Living room and dining rooms are taped, mudded, primed, and painted (although I might repaint them a more neutral color before selling the house)
· Wood floor is done throughout most of the house, tile in bathroom, carpet in bedrooms
· Doors are all installed and ready to be painted
· A huge chunk of landscaping is finished and well maintained... we have a truly beautiful piece of property!
· Quality light fixtures are all installed throughout the house

Most of that list was actually finished within this past week, in fact. We've been busting our butts to get things rolling again, after a very lazy winter and busy spring. A huge motivating factor to finish these projects was when Adam got a call back from the banker who approved us for the mortgage we have now… He told Adam that, with our history of on-time payments and our steadily increasing credit scores, he can preapprove us for a substantially higher loan amount in just 3 months!!! This loan is an answer to prayer. No money down, we would only have to pay closing costs, and of course it would be contingent on the sale of this house. We will finally be able to move closer to my parents, and we will be able to afford at least a 3 bedroom, spacious home with a small piece of property. I already feel so blessed with what the Lord has given us, and especially with the amazing, flexible job that Adam has, so the impending changes that are right around the corner are beginning to scare and excite me! It scares me to be so close to something that we've worked hard for and prayed fervently for, for so long, and I feel like it could all be gone in a heartbeat. That's what life is all about, growth and change and the risks that come along with growth and change. The more you have, the more you have to lose. If you hold on to a dream or a current position too hard, it is likely to slip through your fingers. But with that risk of loss and disappointment comes the ever-encouraging chance that it could very well go the way you imagine, the way you prayed it would. So no matter what the change or when I will be ready to embrace it and adapt to whatever direction my life takes. I'm in my Lord's hands, so incredibly blessed with far more than this world could ever offer. I have 5 beautiful, obedient, loving children who have a fresh, unadulterated love for the Lord, despite my own shortcomings. I know a huge part of their love for the Lord is due to their father's faithfulness to teach them, read the Bible to them, and to love their mother unconditionally. Of course each day has its challenges, but in the end I have faith that their relationship with God will always bring them back to what is right. "Train up a child... and he will not depart." <3

So in 3 short months everything is hopefully going to change. Stress is good for me, I thrive on stress. I can take it! I've had a recent struggle with my closest friend just last week. I think that situation has spurred on my need for change and has made me realize that I can handle whatever happens. I just need to hold to what I know is right, and accept the things that I can't control. Everyone doesn't have to see it my way, and they don't even have to like me or respect me for what I stand for, but I do have to be true to my conscience and do my best in each situation. Speaking the truth in love does not mean you water down the truth, or sugar coat with love. It means you take a stand and do whats right while loving the person and showing them what it means to be honest while also being sincere, despite your differences. I admit, I don't like being talked to harshly, and I don't like being stepped on due to a lack of respect shown to me, but at the end of the day those only hurt my pride, so they are easy to let go and not worth the grudge. Especially for the sake of saving a friendship.

Well, I don't really have much else to say! I really needed to clear my head, and blogging always does that for me. :)