Hmmm.

Do you ever go through long periods of time feeling like things just aren't right? Everything seems fine, nothing is really happening... but you just can't shake the feeling of discomfort and discontentment. Maybe that's the problem: nothing is happening. I know that contentment is a choice, but it's so hard to balance contentment with not becoming lethargic. I'm the type of person that needs life to keep moving at a pretty quick pace. I'm convinced that I'm an undiagnosed ADHD and OCD! I'm always looking for the next project or major life change, and I have a reallllly hard time putting down roots and finishing the things I start, although I've gotten better over the years. But I'm seriously JUST learning this about myself... and it makes perfect sense when looking back at all the choices I've made so far. That's why I've had so many experiences that most people only dream of, and all before the age of 25. It is exhausting to think about everything I have on my plate right now. So many people depend and put their burdens on me. It's overwhelming! But at the same time I am always searching for and thinking about my next adventure. The thought of not accomplishing and experiencing things makes me a little sick to my stomach. It's a matter of fact that God wants us to live our lives joyfully and FULLY. It would be wrong to waste my precious time as a young, energetic woman. I know there is a way to achieve your dreams while also being an attentive, nurturing, grounded mom. I just don't want to get bored with the everyday tasks of motherhood - especially when we start school in 15 days. So this year I'm going to take my kids on adventures. We're going on field trips and doing fun projects together. And during those long days when my kids are driving me up the walls and having breakdowns I'm going to close the books and channel their energy into something educational but FUN. And when I'm driving everyone up the walls and having breakdowns I'm going to hop on my imaginary sexy motorcycle and ride to the ocean to surf those waves and run along the beaches and be truly free and wild and able to breathe without thinking! :)