The Exaggerated Version

Have you ever been in a classroom or nursery where there are about 7 or 8 kids running around, it is loud, and you can't see the floor because of the mess? Well... that's what my life has been like for the past 2 years or so. (Okay, that's the exaggerated version!) I am a firm believer in taking full responsibility for your own children... I'm not a fan of babysitters or daycare, no matter how nice the women seem to be. It's my job to take care of my children. But yesterday I made a rare exception. We're going down to Chicago tomorrow and I came up with the brilliant idea of carpooling with our friends. But the only way it would work out is if we had two extra seats available in our van. So my wonderful mommy agreed to take my oldest two boys with her down to Chicago... the only catch is that she left a day earlier than us! So my babies (both of whom have never been away from me for even one day, much less overnight) spent the night at their grandma's house yesterday, and then she took them to Chicago today to spend another night down there. Let me first begin by saying that I miss them terribly. I cried last night thinking about how crazy I was for coming up with this plan, even though it was brilliant! But... 

Today has been the most confusing day of my life. This morning I woke up slowly - completely unconcerned. I immediately felt so relaxed and free, like I could do anything and go anywhere. I got all our packing done and I kept the house perfectly clean - you wouldn't even know that children lived here if it weren't for all the beds. :P At noon Adam came home and we ran all our errands in an hour. It was amazing how fast we moved and all the things we accomplished in such a short amount of time! But all day I've been somewhat emotional about Austin and Aidin being gone, and I couldn't put my finger on exactly why I was feeling weird. After our errands, I dropped Adam off at work and came home to bake some banana bread for the weekend, and when I walked in the door it dawned on me... this was EXACTLY what my life was like with only two kids! I remember feeling so free back then... life was so easy. I could never figure out what all the fuss was about when people said that kids were hard work. After asking myself at times where I got the 'balls' to have 4 kids all in 4 years, I finally have the answer: I didn't know having 3 kids would be harder than having 2! I seriously thought that kids were easy and having one more wouldn't make a difference. Boy was I wrong! But I should also add that if I had the two older boys, instead of the two younger children, I might not have noticed a difference in the noise level, chaos, etc. ;)

So if I could go back... I wouldn't change a thing. :D I like my life so much better chaotic and messy. It has been wonderful getting a break for once (and I will definitely be doing this again in a few months when I need to clean my house and regain some sanity), but for now I just want my boys home, and my life back in the disorderly order that I am so used to. :) However, the next thing I'm going to do is kick back and maybe have a glass of champagne and take a bubble bath. I haven't had one of those in years. :)